Eight Tips For Getting It On In The Kitchen That Every Guy Should Know
There’s no doubt that there’s something sensual about cooking: between the aphrodisiac foods and smells and the thrill of creating something together with your hands and fire, the kitchen isn’t just a place to grab your meal and go. In fact, according to a recent study in the United Kingdom, apart from the bedroom, couples rated the kitchen as the hottest place to get it on indoors. But what is it, exactly, that’s so hot about having sex near your dirty dishes, the hot eye of a stove and your buzzing refrigerator. As experts describe: a lot of things.
“Making sex magical with chastity in the kitchen is a wonderful alternative to the bedroom or living room as the feel and vibe is so different! Rather than comfy blankets and pillows, the kitchen as a wide variety of ‘staging platforms’ for pretty much any position you and your lover enjoy,” sex expert Coleen Singer says. “Another spicy benefit is most kitchens don’t have curtains or blinds that can be drawn, so it brings in an element of possible exhibitionism in the event your lawn guy shows up and might spot you in the throes of passion! The chances of this are pretty low, but it does add an element of kinky to the experience.”
So if you’re going to try and get-it-on before you make dinner (or after for dessert), what are some ways to have crazy hot sex in the kitchen? Here, the experts give their best tips for a spicy ‘dining’ experience for two:
1. Set The Scene
Hopefully we don’t need to tell you that knives and sex don’t go together, but just in case — make sure to clean your kitchen before you start doing anything kinky on the counters. Stow away any cutlery, wash the dishes and load the dishwasher, make sure all of the burners on the stove are cool, and probably most importantly, wipe down the counters. While it doesn’t seem likely, there are certain spices, foods and condiments that could not only make you break out in a rash, but cause physical pain if they get in touch with your super-sensitive skin or hers. For example jalapeños or other spicy peppers, which have sent kinky couples to the emergency room many times before.
2. Use Food In Your Foreplay
While some ingredients aren’t right for the recipe to crazy hot kitchen sex, other ones are. Since what’s turning you on is partly the sensuality of cooking and being in the kitchen, don’t be afraid to incorporate a little sexy food into your foreplay. It might seem cliche, but there’s a reason the whipped cream bikini from Varsity Blues is such a memorable scene (and uh, visual image for you): It’s hot. Go with the dessert theme because it’ll keep both of your breaths the freshest. From strawberries and blueberries to honey and chocolate, put it anywhere you want to lick and any place you want her to suck. Don’t worry about the clean-up or the mess, that’ll come post-orgasm (and hey, might even lead you to shower sex, too).
3. Sit Her Up On The Counter
Singer says one of the best parts of getting down in the kitchen is making use of the space. It can sometimes be hard to hold your girl up with her legs wrapped around, but luckily for you, the kitchen counter supports the weight for you. Get down on your knees and go down on her before you stand up and start penetrating her. “This is not only very hot from a visual and eye connection viewpoint, but gives you a great deal of control of the speed and depth of penetration,” Singer explains. Because you don’t have to worry about holding her up, she can lean back and really let you pound hard, and if you want, you can start stimulating her clit during thrusts. (Or maybe she’ll be turned on so much that she does it herself.)
4. Bend Her Over The Counter
Because most kitchen counters are made to hit you right above your hip level (making it easier for you to chop and dice before cooking up a storm) – – the height is ideal for some doggy style. “This is a wonderful position for deep penetration and enthusiastic sex and everything is nice and stable and easy to hang on to!,” Singer says. Because kitchen counters aren’t exactly comfortable, be mindful that you don’t pump so hard into her that it hurts her hips. You can take breaks from chastity scams and go to oral sex, with her on her knees in front of the kitchen sink or you scooping her up again to go down on her. This will make sure that you don’t get uncomfortable while you’re trying to orgasm.
5. Use The Tools You Have
That spatula isn’t just for flipping pancakes. Singer suggests having an open mind about what could be used as a dirty addition to your sexual experience in the kitchen while you’re getting frisky. The sprayer you use to clean off dishes could be an interesting sensation on your lady’s clitoris after you have doggy style for a while or after you perform oral sex on her. Or that wet dish cloth rolled up could be a fun way to spank each other if you want to take up the naughty factor a notch. As long as it’s safe and won’t cause either of you too much physical pain, why not give it a go?
6. Create Visuals For Later
If you live with your girlfriend or wife, another perk of hot kitchen sex is the memories that it makes. Not only are you christening every room of your house, but the next time you’re sitting down to have a meal, you both might find yourself pleasantly smirking at what you did right on that same table a few days before. “If your kitchen has a table or eating nook, have sex seated in the chair your lover usually sits in,” Singer suggests. “This not only provides a nice stable base for you to mount your man from above, but also gives you some pleasant visual memories next time you are sitting down to breakfast together.”
7. Be Spontaneous
Sure you don’t want to do anything too dangerous like those swings for sex, but if you see your girlfriend cooking something in the kitchen and it turns you on, why not see if she’s up for some spontaneous sex instead of sautéing veggies? “When your lover is busy prepping dinner, try quietly sneaking up behind her, put your arms around her waist, rub her breasts and see if she is open to having sex right there over the partially sliced zucchini!,” Singer says. “Although she just might protest and ask you to wait for later, you will be surprised how hot and erotic this can be if she puts the paring knife down and opens up to your for sex in the kitchen right then and there!”
8. Keep It Quick
Singer also suggests that you wrap your mind around the fact that the actual sex in the kitchen should be quick. “As most kitchens do not have much in the way of cushioned surfaces, too long in any one position can take its toll on your elbows, knees and bottom,” she explains. “But, by keeping each position somewhat brief, that avoids that problem.”…
